What should I do...?

Alright I know when a parent passes away it hurts like a bitch! The first thing you gotta do is accept they will not be around anyway. You will never get passed this if u keep holding onto that tiny feeling inside you that thinks she is coming back. Unfortunatly its not going to happen. Next start thinking positivley. Try and look forward and stop thinking you will never move past this. Finaly find someone you can talk to and go to when you are having panic attacks like this, never bottle things up always try and get your feelings out somehow <3
hope this helped somewhat (:

Well I can not even start to understand what you are feeling as both my parents are alive however my nan died when I was 3. For many years I never thought about it but then a few years ago I found myself feeling sad she had gone so now on the anniversary of her death the 15 February each year I go into a church and light a candle whisper to her tell her my problems tell her I am thinking about her as if she is there with me. For me this is enough that I can then go another 365 days without thinking about her too much. May be you could do something similar. I do hope your feelings get better but it will take time and you must remember it is only a year ago which really is not much time at all.

I can't pretend to understand your pain, since both my parents are alive and no one close to me has died since I was too young to remember it, but I'll try and help.

It sounds like you're struggling to move on and accept what's happened. I think if you accept that she's gone, and focus on what you're going to do in the future. I doubt your mum would have wanted you to spend your time grieving- she'd have wanted you to go and live your life to the full and enjoy your life without her. As in the answers before this, you could do something to remember her- perhaps you could make a scrapbook of pictures of you together that you could look through on her birthday, and think about her then- you're allowed to grieve and be sad. But then focus on what you want to do with the future. Look at what you still have in your life- friends, the rest of your family, your hobbies and talents- focus on these rather than your grief, but give yourself that time to be sad and think abotu her.

Hope this is at all helpful.
All the best <3