Creative Outlet

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Creative Outlet Question

hears a song by me called invissabul please tell me what you think and how i could make it better thank you

i see you standing thair with that other girl im invissible ohhh oh oh what happend to il allways be thair what happend to us at first i bellived in love at first sight but then i met you you broght me to realighty we used to be in the clouds i thout our love was unstopeble but now im invissible ohhhh oh ohhh you see right past me to her never thout that would happen oh ohhh ohh oh i nead you hear with me right now cant you see me standing right infront of her i see you standing next to that girl what happend to me what happend to us i thout our love was unstopeabule but baby now im invissibul ohhhhh ohhhh ohhh oh invissibul
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i like the title
victory08 posted over a year ago
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does this have a chorus and i think this song should be longer
victory08 posted over a year ago
 kas16 posted over a year ago
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Creative Outlet Answers

victory08 said:
i do not know the song does not rhyme anyways.
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posted over a year ago 
MileySelena982 said:
I like it. Very good. :)
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posted over a year ago 
reneemonique said:
I love it!:)
I love to look at other peoples work,cause i love song-writing.
mmm what i'd do is split it up,into verses and add a chorus. Make it a bit longer also.
All the words add up and it's like a story.
Just add more and then it will be 10 times better:)
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posted over a year ago 
taytrain97 said:
Well, it's alright, but the grammar is absolutely horrible. You should probably run it by spellcheck and then split it into different verses and choruses. Once that's done, add a tune and it should be fine. :L
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posted over a year ago 
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i agree
beachchick posted over a year ago
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