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Renesmee_XD said:
Okaay so two questions in one, so I'll answer them one by one.
Number One :
Edward thought himself to be a monster for many reasons besides the obvious.
1) His transformation into a Vampire, by myth Vampires are bloodsucking leeches, that are evil.
Not many people want to become evil and especially in the era he was born, I am hoping, he was strong Christian.
For example he thinks the Vampires have no souls not good enough for Heaven where Bella should go.
"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist … and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls." [New Moon Chapter Stitches
2) He also had rebellious period where he killed many humans: rapists, murderers etc.
From 1927-31.
"Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence — about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence,
and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."…
"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't
escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And
I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the
prodigal. It was more than I deserved...” [Twilight: Chapter Carlisle]
3) He also thinks himself for a monster for the brining Bella into his life, making her the creature of night etc.
“happen to result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this half-immortal half-life? Now – devastated by the longing for this girl - I could understand how I might, in forgivable selfishness, ask my father for that favour. Ask him to take away her life and soul so that I could keep her forever. She deserved better.” [Midnight Sun: Chapter Page 110]
Part 2:
1) I guess same answer as number 3 :)
2) A quotation from New Moon that I tells why Edward thinks he’s not good enough. :)
“only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off” New Moon:Chapter The Truth
That one cost Edward to leave Bella
Edit: Longest Answer I have EVER wrote :)
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