joey and rachel enter monica and chandlers appartement
rachel: NO JOEY I WON'T
joey: COME ON RACH!!! PLEASE!!!

(Monica and Phoebe look up)
Phoebe: What's going on?

rachel: Joey wants me to practice a kiss with him for his audition and i said NO!!!!
joey: Come on Rach!!!!! what are friends for??
rachel: ohhhh trust me! NOT FOR THAT!!! besides, u think ross will accept??? (o btw ross and rachel are married, the episode is like after the fanfictions of tonish but like AFTER the one with all the huge mistakes oK??)

(Monica and Phoebe are amused)
Monica: What's the part?

joey: it's really cool!!! i'm playing the role of a sexual addict, and i like attack every girl i c and...
monica: OMG!! joey that sounds like porn!!!
rachel: and u were gonna practice on ME??? (wide eyes)

Monica: Why don't you just get another girlfriend?

Joey: Mon i can't ask a girl to help me with something like that!! besides i'm seein a girl called Jonie and she's really nice... i don't wanna rush things up with her!
(chandler comes out of the bathroom)

Chandler: WHAT??? u're SEEIN a girl?? like, it's been more than one date?? and u DON'T wanna rush things up???

(Monica and Phoebe look amused)
Monica: Wait, what do you mean you can't ask a girl to help you?
Rachel: Yeah, what am I?

(haha nice one^^^:what am I??)
Joey: well u know,we've been on like only two, three dates and.. i really don't want to rush things up this time you know..
Rachel,Mon,Phoebe,Chandler: Really?
Joey(amused): Nah we totally hit it last night!!
(opening credits)

(Joey goes to see Jonie at her apartment)
Jonie- hey, joey! When you called you said you needed my help but you were afraid to ask. So, where does it hurt?
Joey-Woah, not that kind of help. Can you help me practice this kissing scene with me for an audition.

Jonie- kissing scene? sure why not
Joey- cool! WOW!!! u took it pretty well! better then Rach!
(Joey gets closer to Jonie but she pushes him away)
Jonie-Rach???
Joey-No no, Rachel's my friend
Jonie-Yeah right!!! u asked ur "friend" to practice a kiss with u! how stupid do u think i am??

(Joey realizes he shouldn't have said that)
Joey: No no no, I just didn't want to rush things with you!
Jonie: You say that AFTER you sleep with me??

(Joey smiles a little.. like he always does when he thinks about sex)
Joey: no no i mean the kiss is a little intense and... i don't know i just found it akward to ask as a favour, u know?
Jonie:yeah yeah, it's akward to ask it to ypur girlfriend but not to someone else!!!!

Jonie: But I'm your girlfriend and you ask another girl to practise a kiss??
Joey: I know, I know, it sounds bad, but I just really like you!
Jonie: Aww!
(Jonie slaps Joey)

Jonie:i like you too!!! just go out of here Joey!
Joey:fine!
(gets out of the appartement and slaps the door. back into Joey's appartement. rachel enters)
Rachel: ok, ok, i want to be a good friend so.. you can practice on me and.. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE??

(A knock at the door and Rachel heads towards it to open it, but Monica comes in anyway)
Monica: What the hell?

Joey: Jonie slapped me when i told her i asked you to kiss me..
Rachel and Monica: YOU TOLD HER?
Rachel:u don't say to a girl that you asked another one to kiss you as a "favor"
Joey:but it's the truth!
Monica:so? i would've slapped you twice as hard if u told me that!

Monica: Why did you have to ruin everything??
Rachel: (sees Joey's upset) Oh, Joey! (hugs him) You're not that smart when it comes to girls are you?
Joey: Hey!

Rachel:well...
Monica:and why are you so upset anyway? you change girls more then you change girls more then you change Pants!
Joey:ya but i wanna have a serious relationship this time! i'm not just foolin around! Rach could u come with me and explain to Jonnie the whole thing?
(long pause)
Joey: Raaaaaaaach!
Rachel:sorry what? i stopped hearing after the "i'm serious this time" part!

(Mon smiles and Joey sighs)
Joey: Haha, very funny.

(Chandler and Ross are at Ross's appartement)
Ross:Chandler can i ask u something??
Chandler:sure.. what??
Ross:so i have these two tickets to a latino dancing show and..
Chandler:OH! i'm flattered man but that's not my type.. i'm more of a ballet dude!!
Ross:it's not for you man!i wanted to ask Rachel to go
Chandler:well that's good! u know she ADORES this type of dancing!
Ross:YES I DO!!! *happy and exited* that's why i signed my name for dance classes two months ago behind her back and guess what.. I'M IN THE SHOW!!!
Chandler:WHAT????

(Ross nods enthusiastically) (Phoebe and Mike at their apartment and Phoebe's teaching Mike Smelly Cat)
Phoebe(singing): Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?, smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault...
Mike: Sorry - what's wrong with this cat?

Phobe:ok Mike for the last time, the cat smells and no one likes him OKAY???
Mike:hey sweetie, can i ask u a question.. why do you write songs like that??
Phoebe:like what??

Mike: You know, like Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: WHAT?? Why would you even ask that? Why?

Mike: well i don't know.. i mean don't get me wrong i love ur songs honey but like... your style is a little weird u know like smelly cat, pervert parade...
Phobe:*angry* u said u loved pervert perade!
Mike, starting to regret his question: I DID!! it's just, sometimes, i don't understand ur songs. u know?

Mike: Like Oath to a pubic hair.
Phoebe: What's not to understand about smelly cat? A cat smells and everyone hates it!

Mike*smiles*:fine
long pause
Phobe:u know i guess it's this type of songs that can express how i truly feel, u know like smelly cat, i went througt a period when i felt like a smelly cat that everyone hates, u know?
Mike:yeah, i do
*kisses her*
Mike:so, u went througt a period when u felt like a pervert in a parade?
(fade into Ross's appartement)

Chandler: You seriously got in??
Ross: Yeah! Can you believe it?
Chandler: No!

Ross:i finally got the nurve to do something i never got the gutts to do!!!
Chandler:and u chose DANCING?? BALLROOM DANCING???? why not... getting a pet??
Ross:anyway i'm gonna take her 2night and then when my part comes, i'll tell her i'm going to buy water or something and BAM! she'll see me on the theatre! she'll get surprised huh?
Chandler:No doubt about that!

Chandler: But how are you sure you're any good?
Ross: Oh, I am good. BELIEVE me...
Chandler(laughs mockingly)OK.

(Rachel and Ross are at the theatre)
Rachel:God Ross thank you so so much!!!i LOVED your surprise
Ross:you're welcome sweetie (they kiss)
Ross:and if you loved THIS surprise, u are going to go crazy for the second one!
Rachel:There's a second one (happily and exited)
Ross: oooooh ya! just wait for it!