1) Tell him he writes fanfiction.

2. Say you are as pale as blank pages.

3. put butter on his work

4. tie him to a tree and poke him in the head for 5 hours :)

5. play dishes when he's writing

6. Make a five year old to go confiscate his books and say "bad doggie! No more bedtime stories for you, Orphy-Morphy...."