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Writing Question

What do you think of this poem?

Can you feel it in my heart?
Oh,i'm just a dust...
Can you help me now?
Oh,i'm alright...
Can you understand me now?
Oh,i guess that's too much...
Can you see me now,running from your mind,hiding behind those all good things you liked...
Can you feel the disillusion you've been giving to me for a while,so slow,but bright...
Your heart is so hollow.
 irena83 posted over a year ago
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Writing Answers

fabfamily99 said:
This is really good. I think if expand it though it could be a good song, or if you expand the plot, it could be a great story! I love it!
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posted over a year ago 
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Thank you. <3
irena83 posted over a year ago
3nala said:
It...Is...Awesome!!!
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posted over a year ago 
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Thanks. <3
irena83 posted over a year ago
K5-HOWL said:
I loved it
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I loved it
posted over a year ago 
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thanks... ;)
irena83 posted over a year ago
chickencheese said:
Really great! I like the emotion you've put in it :D
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posted over a year ago 
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Thank you. :)
irena83 posted over a year ago
JohnnyD said:
Wow you must be really inspired to make this kind of poem! I ♥ love it!
Yeap it sound like a song!
AWESOME!!!!!
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posted over a year ago 
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Aw thank you so much. <3
irena83 posted over a year ago
Vixie79 said:
Wow the ending was really relate able. I got the idea that it was explaining the endless lies someone has fed you through a relationship, something else I have received.
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posted over a year ago 
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Um i was disappointed so i decided not to expose my feelings. You can feel it in this poem.
irena83 posted over a year ago
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I'm hiding from him so he could never hurt me again. And his heart is so empty,therefore he knows i deserve someone who can show me love,someone who won't disappoint me.
irena83 posted over a year ago
Hiding 2 comments... click to show.
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You're welcome hon. *hugs you back*
Vixie79 posted over a year ago
Pikafan32 said:
Beautiful weave, dear! A dark masterpiece with true heart in it. Have you ever considered publishing a book of your poems. If so you could start by ranking up the points to professional publication here >> link
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posted over a year ago 
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Oh honey,thank you so much. Um i haven't but i'll consider about that. Hugs and kisses
irena83 posted over a year ago
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Wow, I might check that out myself.
Vixie79 posted over a year ago
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I understand it says teen fiction and you're much older than that but maybe they'll allow you. If not maybe you should try Author House. But you have to pay to publish there...
Pikafan32 posted over a year ago
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Um yes... Well,i'll write my blog,no rush. ;) Thanks anyway.
irena83 posted over a year ago
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