Will anyone read this and tell me what they think?

Blood Dance

    Mina finished fastening her corset gown which her father had personally picked out for her. “I can hardly breathe in this thing.” She moaned grabbing her small gold and red mask off her bed.
    “Will you please hold still miss? I’m not finished with your hair.” Mina’s maid Gabriela said. Mina sighed and stood as still as possible, the tightness of the corset making her feel as though she was going to faint. “There.” Gabriela said finally finishing putting Mina’s brown hair into an elegant bun.
    “I don’t see why father wants me to go to this thing.” Mina said.
    “If I knew that working for a family of vampires was going to be this hard, I would have never accepted the job.”
    “What do you mean hard?”
    “Mina, you’re a vampire. You’re going to a vampire ball. It’s clear that your father wants you to find a mate.” Gabriela said.
    “I better go down there before father starts looking for me.” Mina said heading toward the door. “By the way Gabriela, mate, really.” She opened the door and left the room the sound of her heels echoing around her as she walked down the castles lit halls. Voices, music, and laughter started to become audible as Mina came closer and closer to the ball room.
    “Good evening miss Mina.” One of the butlers attending the doors said. “Enjoy the masquerade.” He opened the door allowing Mina to step into the bright ballroom. Almost everyone was dancing across the polished wood floor, the gowns flowing in perfect unison.
    “It’s about time you showed.” Mina’s mother shouted running up to her. “Your father was about to go looking for you.”
    “I’m here now so he can call off the cavalry.” Mina said half sarcastically. “So who has my father decided to pair me up with this time?”
    “No one actually.” Her mother said taking Mina’s hand and guiding her through the crowd. “He thought it through and figured that it’s time you pick your own mate. That’s h