Writing
answer this question
Writing Question
Can I have opinions?
Can I have opinions on my poem, please? It would really help! This was one of my first tries at a poem, I'm really happy with it, but I would like some opinions on how it really is. Thanks.
Darkness In A Rose
A hollow pit grows bigger in the center of
Her stomach thinking of the deadline.
Drama from family and friends weighs
Her down like she’s 1,000 pounds.
A black cloud only she can see licks
At her heels like an angry shadow.
A dull roar fills her ears and
A crack splits her forehead, scalp, then face.
Yet still, she’s the only one who sees.
In a sea of faces, her’s is lost for
It is too average to acknowledge.
Her hands grow numb and legs start to tingle.
Black spots dance across her vision.
She curses high school and what it’s done to her.
Slowly, unwillingly, she falls further
Into the pits of her very mind.
She is no longer part of reality.
She can no longer see the beauty of life.
All she can see is the darkness.
Even the darkness in a rose.
Darkness In A Rose
A hollow pit grows bigger in the center of
Her stomach thinking of the deadline.
Drama from family and friends weighs
Her down like she’s 1,000 pounds.
A black cloud only she can see licks
At her heels like an angry shadow.
A dull roar fills her ears and
A crack splits her forehead, scalp, then face.
Yet still, she’s the only one who sees.
In a sea of faces, her’s is lost for
It is too average to acknowledge.
Her hands grow numb and legs start to tingle.
Black spots dance across her vision.
She curses high school and what it’s done to her.
Slowly, unwillingly, she falls further
Into the pits of her very mind.
She is no longer part of reality.
She can no longer see the beauty of life.
All she can see is the darkness.
Even the darkness in a rose.
|
next question » | ||
|
|
|||
Writing Answers
