"Matthew tells me you're improving. Guess that brings us a step closer to being happy again, right?" Charlie stared at me with a hopeful expression, awaiting the answer he wanted to hear all along. Yes, Charlie. I'm finally moving on from the past because I love you. I love you and I want to make this work. I'm changing who I am for you. Dr. Thomas' words, his advice, echoed in my head as I slowly paced back and forth, playing with my fingers nervously. "Jamie, what is it?" "Do you think there's any point in staying married if the relationship isn't going to survive?" I blurted out the words before I could think to stop myself. "I mean, let's face it Charlie... Are we even strong enough to want to fight for this?" An irritated undertone just barely touched the question.
Charlie stood from the couch and stepped closer to me, once again towering over me - making me feel smaller than I should have felt. "I thought you told me you wanted to try," he whispered, masking the hurt as much as he could, but he wasn't fooling anyone. "I thought you wanted to make this work." I shook my head in disagreement, crossing my arms over my chest. "No, Charlie. You wanted me to try." He stepped away from me, visibly struck by my response. "Why are you acting like this, Jamie?" "Because I'm trying to get through to you! You keep acting as if nothing is wrong and that everything will get better! I'm tired, Charlie, really tired. I can't do it anymore... I won't."
Now the irritation was taking its toll on him as well. Without holding back any longer, Charlie released all the anger and frustration built up inside him for the past month. "Goddamnit, Jamie!" He slammed his hand on the coffee table, causing me to jump. "Why can't you just get a hold on reality and face it! He's gone! Alexander is gone and he's not coming back!" My tone matched his in volume. "Stop saying that! You don't know, I don't know! Nobody knows what will happen, but I'm willing to wait!" "Why?! Why are you waiting for him when you could be helping me out here?! It takes two people to have a healthy marriage, Jamie! Two!" "You're telling me I need to get a hold on reality? Fuck you! You're the one who can't see what's really going on! You're being greedy, Charlie! You want what you can't have!"
I kept pushing just to see how long it took for him to finally break - something we both needed. "I bring you all the way up here thinking that maybe, just maybe, you'd see how much I would crawl to make you want me again. I was wrong about you... about us. You're right, Jamie, there's no point. There's absolutely no point anymore. I just can't understand why you waited all this time to tell me you want out." I lowered my gaze to my feet, my toes sinking into the softness of the carpet. "Because it took me until now to realize how much I love him." Charlie shook his head, disappointed with my fantasy. "Well, that's it then."
He grabbed his sunglasses and car keys, heading for the front door. "Where are you go?" I didn't really care; I just didn't want to be left at his parents' house. He stopped and turned around to face me. "I'm going for a drive. You can pack your things while I'm gone. I'll drive you to the airport when I come back... I won't be long." As soon as he slammed the front door, I reached for the telephone and dialed Matthew's number.
Charlie stood from the couch and stepped closer to me, once again towering over me - making me feel smaller than I should have felt. "I thought you told me you wanted to try," he whispered, masking the hurt as much as he could, but he wasn't fooling anyone. "I thought you wanted to make this work." I shook my head in disagreement, crossing my arms over my chest. "No, Charlie. You wanted me to try." He stepped away from me, visibly struck by my response. "Why are you acting like this, Jamie?" "Because I'm trying to get through to you! You keep acting as if nothing is wrong and that everything will get better! I'm tired, Charlie, really tired. I can't do it anymore... I won't."
Now the irritation was taking its toll on him as well. Without holding back any longer, Charlie released all the anger and frustration built up inside him for the past month. "Goddamnit, Jamie!" He slammed his hand on the coffee table, causing me to jump. "Why can't you just get a hold on reality and face it! He's gone! Alexander is gone and he's not coming back!" My tone matched his in volume. "Stop saying that! You don't know, I don't know! Nobody knows what will happen, but I'm willing to wait!" "Why?! Why are you waiting for him when you could be helping me out here?! It takes two people to have a healthy marriage, Jamie! Two!" "You're telling me I need to get a hold on reality? Fuck you! You're the one who can't see what's really going on! You're being greedy, Charlie! You want what you can't have!"
I kept pushing just to see how long it took for him to finally break - something we both needed. "I bring you all the way up here thinking that maybe, just maybe, you'd see how much I would crawl to make you want me again. I was wrong about you... about us. You're right, Jamie, there's no point. There's absolutely no point anymore. I just can't understand why you waited all this time to tell me you want out." I lowered my gaze to my feet, my toes sinking into the softness of the carpet. "Because it took me until now to realize how much I love him." Charlie shook his head, disappointed with my fantasy. "Well, that's it then."
He grabbed his sunglasses and car keys, heading for the front door. "Where are you go?" I didn't really care; I just didn't want to be left at his parents' house. He stopped and turned around to face me. "I'm going for a drive. You can pack your things while I'm gone. I'll drive you to the airport when I come back... I won't be long." As soon as he slammed the front door, I reached for the telephone and dialed Matthew's number.
I make mistakes
I mess up
but it was nevr enough
I no longer cry for you
no more pain
that means I will no longer stand it
you took my heart and ran it strait into the planet
now I'm taking control of this relationship
command it
that means I no longer die for
no longer cry for you
no more pain
but you always win
as th blood trickles down my arm
I wisper you name into the dark
Cierra
the pain I went through for you
no longer
is anyone out there
feels like I'm talking o myslelf
feels like I'm going insane
feels crazy
guess I keep talking to myself
why in the world do I feel so alone
nobody but me
I'm on my own
is there anyone out there
that feels just what I feel
guess it's just me.
------------------------------------------------
just to let you know.I'm no sewisidle or crazy.just a kid who's been through alot and has grown up faster
I mess up
but it was nevr enough
I no longer cry for you
no more pain
that means I will no longer stand it
you took my heart and ran it strait into the planet
now I'm taking control of this relationship
command it
that means I no longer die for
no longer cry for you
no more pain
but you always win
as th blood trickles down my arm
I wisper you name into the dark
Cierra
the pain I went through for you
no longer
is anyone out there
feels like I'm talking o myslelf
feels like I'm going insane
feels crazy
guess I keep talking to myself
why in the world do I feel so alone
nobody but me
I'm on my own
is there anyone out there
that feels just what I feel
guess it's just me.
------------------------------------------------
just to let you know.I'm no sewisidle or crazy.just a kid who's been through alot and has grown up faster
Pride is a belief in myself (or someone else) that within me is something no one else has just like me. Pride can be a wonderful thing. My coaches are proud of me when I execute a move perfectly. I am proud of my efforts when I get the right answer to a test question. However, pride can have a negative connotation. If I am prideful of my singing talent or of my sports accomplishments, then I am not feeling the right kind of pride. Yes, I can be pleased with my abilities; but when I let it go to my head, then I am full of pride, just like Odysseus often was. By believing that I am the only person with that talent, I inflate my ego. I believe myself to be “the best of the best,” and this can damage my relationships with others. They would not want my company if the only things I spoke of were my own accomplishments.
Meghan ran to the bus stop, where she saw Pompika. Thankfully Pompika looked at her politely and said “You know I saw Reg but ya know, how she’s jus’ across the street, she seems a lil’ mad!” Meghan thought for a second and thought ‘why lose Pompika?’ and said, “Geez I don’t know?” Now she wished she had told the truth, instead of lying. “Oh I wish ya did.” Pompika said. “Tsk-Tsk, bad grammar Pompi” said Meghan. “Sorry, fine I wish you did. There ya… you go” “Hhhmmm, nice save.” Meghan said. “Hey look, Reg’s a comin’” said Pompika. “Great that’s good… wait REG!!!” said Meghan. “What?” said Pompika. "nothing."
i am looking for the star, our star, but this time i am alone, you aren't standing on the port next to me..
i feel i am lost now, i can't find this star. you remeber what did i descoverd that night? i found only one star in the whole Portsaid's sky..
you didn't belive that one star is exist.. you said: which star? the sky is felling of the stars!
i thought you was kidding, i was very sure that there's one star.. yeah, sure as the blind is sure that there's nothing around him!
now i see what you were talking about, i loved you, so i couldn't see anyone else but you..
you was my heart's only love..
it was Portsaid's only star..
but you .. you didn't point to the same star, you saw all the stars but mine..
now i am alone, seeing many stars, can't find my star, am i blind? or ..was i blind?
twinkle, twinkle, my littel star..
Portsaid's only star, which one is you?
_________________________________________________
*Portsaid is an Egyptian port.
i feel i am lost now, i can't find this star. you remeber what did i descoverd that night? i found only one star in the whole Portsaid's sky..
you didn't belive that one star is exist.. you said: which star? the sky is felling of the stars!
i thought you was kidding, i was very sure that there's one star.. yeah, sure as the blind is sure that there's nothing around him!
now i see what you were talking about, i loved you, so i couldn't see anyone else but you..
you was my heart's only love..
it was Portsaid's only star..
but you .. you didn't point to the same star, you saw all the stars but mine..
now i am alone, seeing many stars, can't find my star, am i blind? or ..was i blind?
twinkle, twinkle, my littel star..
Portsaid's only star, which one is you?
_________________________________________________
*Portsaid is an Egyptian port.