The next morning, I was woken up by a blinding light. I groaned and covered my eyes with my arm. What the hell was Nikolai or Carmine doing in my room this early?! I rolled over onto my stomach, smothering my face in my pillow.
"Good morning, Sunshine!" a female voice said. That woke me up.
"Huh?!" I said, leaning up real fast. Then I realized it was Gail. Then I realized I wasn't home. I frowned and rubbed my eyes. Gail had opened the blinds right by my bed. I looked over to the bed next to me; Scout was gone, her bed already neatly made.
"It's almost ten o'clock," Gail informed me. Then why'd you wake me up?I wanted to ask. Gail ripped my comforter off of me, onto the floor. "C'mon! Get up! Make your bed!" she said. She paused in the doorway. "Don't you have pajamas?" she asked. I shook my head. "Huh. We'll fix that later." She left. I groaned and laid back down for a couple minutes, then decided I couldn't go back to sleep. I made my bed, rather sloppily, and then went out to the kitchen.
No one else was there, except Bride in her highchair. Everyone else I could hear from the living room.
"There's some cereal in the pantry, milk in the fridge, bowls in the cupboard, and spoons in the drawer!" Gail called from the living room. I managed to find everything I needed, and then sat down to eat. Bride squealed at me, and threw her bowl of gloppy orange stuff across the room. It slid across the floor, splattering all over it, and clattering loudly. I sat there, frozen, as Gail came rushing back in.
"I... It wasn't me," was all 'I managed to say. Gail sighed and chuckled, and grabbed a paper towel, wiping up the mess. I finished up my cereal fast, put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher, and then went back to my room. I grabbed some clothes from my bag, then went to the bathroom to change. I put on my black pants, a blank white t-shirt, and a red hoodie. I combed my hair, getting out all the knots. I came out, and Aspen was standing there, looking at me tentatively.
"Umm... Hi?" I said. She waved shyly at me. I walked around her, and she went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. I rolled my eyes, and went to my room. I took out my special box and opened it, looking at my picture and necklace. I held the necklace delicately in my hand, and opened it. I smiled at the picture of Reed and I, then put it around my neck for the first time in years. The bedroom door opened, and I closed the box quickly just in time. It was Jezebel.
"Come on! Come on! We're going to the park!" she said excitedly. She ran out of the room. I did not move; then Gail came in.
"You're going to the park with them while I go grocery shopping," she said. It didn't sound like a question.
"I don't want to go," I said softly.
"Get your shoes on," she said, walking away before I could protest again. I sighed. This woman was going to annoy the hell out of me. I put on my converse like I was told. I was about to leave, when I decided I didn't know this town well enough and grabbed my gun from the box and put it in my pocket, then put the box under my bed and went out to the kitchen. Everyone else was ready to go.
"Good morning, Harley," Scout said. I shrugged. Gail came in, unfolding a stroller. Scout set Bride in the stroller, and Gail opened the door.
"See you kids later!" Gail said cheerfully. "Be careful!" Jezebel ran out ahead of us, Aspen walked in front of the stroller, and I stayed behind Scout, who was pushing the stroller.
"C'mon, guys! Hurry up! I wanna get to the park!" Jezebel shouted as she skipped.
"Jezebel! Stay with us!" Scout told her. Jezebel reluctantly came back with us. Soon we came to a small park, and Jezebel and Aspen ran off to play on it immediately.
"Scout! Come chase me!" Jezebel giggled.
"Do you mind watching Bride?" she asked me. I shook my head. "Thanks," she smiled. She ran off, running very slow so that Jezebel wouldn't get caught. They all laughed, Aspen running very far ahead of the both of them. I sat down on a bench, and rocked Bride's stroller back and forth. She laughed and screamed whenever one of the others ran by. I decided I wanted to hold her, but I was scared. I'd never held a baby; what if I hurt her? I carefully picked Bride up, then quickly sat her on my lap before I could drop her or anything. She played with my hair, pulling on it and throwing it up and watching it fall down. It didn't hurt, and it sure seemed to amuse her. I smiled at her.
"I'm gonna take a break," Aspen panted. She walked over and sat down next to me. It felt kind of awkward, so I just ignored her for a while. She looked at me. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," I said, not looking at her.
"You're pretty," she said. I looked at her. She looked at me with big brown eyes.
"Thanks," I said. "You are too." She smiled. She really was a pretty little girl.
"How old are you?" she asked.
"Fifteen. You?"
"Nine. You're the same age as Scout, y'know," she said matter-of-factly.
"That's cool," I said. She nodded and then ran off. That was weird... We stayed at the park for about an hour, when I heard some voices that belonged to no one I knew.
"Scout!" The deep voice said. I jumped and turned to see who it was. It was a dark skinned guy, who wore glasses and jean shorts and a green t-shirt.
"Hey Trace!" Scout called. He laughed. He looked down at me, and seemed confused; probably thinking why is this stranger holding Scout's foster sister? "Oh, this is Harley. She's new." Trace nodded his head as if that all made sense. He held out his hand.
"Hey, Harley. I'm Trace. Nice to meet you," he said politely. Cautiously I shook his hand. He smiled at me, then frowned a little.
"She's not much for talking yet... She just got here yesterday." Trace nodded again.
"Well, I just wanted to say hi. See ya at school next week. Bye, Harley." Trace waved and then jogged off.
"You don't have school this week?" I asked quietly. Scout shook her head.
"It's spring break. We have a week off." I breathed a sigh of relief. "It'll be fun when we go back. I can introduce you to all my friends!" she smiled. I bit my lip. Something told me Scout and her friends weren't exactly people I'd get along with.
"Um... Sure..." I said. We stayed at the park for a little bit longer, then we went back to the house. Gail still wasn't back, not that I minded. Scout went to play "house" with Jezebel, bringing Bride along with her. I went to my room, and laid down on my bed, putting my arms over my eyes and sighed. There was a tap on my wrist, and I was startled back into reality. Aspen stood over me, nervousness all over her face.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked. I sat up and shrugged.
"I guess..." I said, not so certain. Aspen sat on Scout's bed, crossing her legs and looking at me deeply.
"What happened to you?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, why are you here?" she asked. The tone in her voice, maturity and... wisdom I guess, made it hard to believe she was only nine. She spoke with confidence in her words, even though she seemed very shy and timid.
"I was taken away from my brothers," I answered. "They thought they hurt me, so they brought me here." Aspen pouted.
"Did they?" she wondered. I shook my head immediately.
"No. They were wonderful. Well, Nikolai was most of the time..."
"How many brothers did you have?"
"Three. Nikolai, Reed, and Carmine. They're all older than me."
"Oh. I used to live with my brother too. His name was Clay... What about your parents?" she asked. I'd hoped this question wouldn't come.
"My dad left before I was born... My mom killed herself..." I said softly.
"Oh... Sorry... That's why you lived with your brothers?" I nodded. "Oh." I furrowed my eyebrows. I couldn't help but wonder.
"Why'd you live with Clay?" I asked. She looked at me surprised, like she thought she'd be the only one asking the questions.
"My mom died when she had me. My dad didn't want me, and he was going to hurt me, so Clay took me and ran away. He was thirteen, and I was three." Damn. This kid's gone through a lot at such a young age.
"When did you come here?"
"When I was five. Clay left me here. He said he didn't know what to do, and said he was sorry. I don't know what he was sorry for though..."
"Where'd you live before?" I asked astonished. She shrugged.
"Everywhere. Anywhere. We never stayed in one place for too long." I nodded. "Do you think we'll ever get adopted?" she asked.
"Not me. I'm going to find a way to get out of here. I'm going back to my brothers. I'm not going to get adopted by some family."
"I want to stay here. Forever and ever. But what if Scout, Jezebel, Bride, or you get adopted? I don't want to lose my sisters." She thought of me as her sister? Already?
"Oh... Uh..." What was I supposed to say?! She looked like she was on the edge of tears for crying out loud! But I couldn't say Oh, don't worry. No one'll adopt you... "Everything'll be fine. Everything happens for a reason---" I stopped; realizing that I sounded like a hypocrite saying I would not let myself get adopted.
"I guess..." Aspen sighed. She stood up. "Thanks," she smiled. She closed the space between us and hugged me. I was shocked at first, but then returned the hug.
"Who wants ice cream?" Gail shouted. I heard the sound of grocery bags, and Jezebel scream.
"Yay!" she cried. Aspen smiled.
"Come on!" she said, taking my hand and guided me to the kitchen. Gail smiled and winked at me with an expression on her face that said See? It's not so bad here. I rolled my eyes at her and looked away.
"Good morning, Sunshine!" a female voice said. That woke me up.
"Huh?!" I said, leaning up real fast. Then I realized it was Gail. Then I realized I wasn't home. I frowned and rubbed my eyes. Gail had opened the blinds right by my bed. I looked over to the bed next to me; Scout was gone, her bed already neatly made.
"It's almost ten o'clock," Gail informed me. Then why'd you wake me up?I wanted to ask. Gail ripped my comforter off of me, onto the floor. "C'mon! Get up! Make your bed!" she said. She paused in the doorway. "Don't you have pajamas?" she asked. I shook my head. "Huh. We'll fix that later." She left. I groaned and laid back down for a couple minutes, then decided I couldn't go back to sleep. I made my bed, rather sloppily, and then went out to the kitchen.
No one else was there, except Bride in her highchair. Everyone else I could hear from the living room.
"There's some cereal in the pantry, milk in the fridge, bowls in the cupboard, and spoons in the drawer!" Gail called from the living room. I managed to find everything I needed, and then sat down to eat. Bride squealed at me, and threw her bowl of gloppy orange stuff across the room. It slid across the floor, splattering all over it, and clattering loudly. I sat there, frozen, as Gail came rushing back in.
"I... It wasn't me," was all 'I managed to say. Gail sighed and chuckled, and grabbed a paper towel, wiping up the mess. I finished up my cereal fast, put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher, and then went back to my room. I grabbed some clothes from my bag, then went to the bathroom to change. I put on my black pants, a blank white t-shirt, and a red hoodie. I combed my hair, getting out all the knots. I came out, and Aspen was standing there, looking at me tentatively.
"Umm... Hi?" I said. She waved shyly at me. I walked around her, and she went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. I rolled my eyes, and went to my room. I took out my special box and opened it, looking at my picture and necklace. I held the necklace delicately in my hand, and opened it. I smiled at the picture of Reed and I, then put it around my neck for the first time in years. The bedroom door opened, and I closed the box quickly just in time. It was Jezebel.
"Come on! Come on! We're going to the park!" she said excitedly. She ran out of the room. I did not move; then Gail came in.
"You're going to the park with them while I go grocery shopping," she said. It didn't sound like a question.
"I don't want to go," I said softly.
"Get your shoes on," she said, walking away before I could protest again. I sighed. This woman was going to annoy the hell out of me. I put on my converse like I was told. I was about to leave, when I decided I didn't know this town well enough and grabbed my gun from the box and put it in my pocket, then put the box under my bed and went out to the kitchen. Everyone else was ready to go.
"Good morning, Harley," Scout said. I shrugged. Gail came in, unfolding a stroller. Scout set Bride in the stroller, and Gail opened the door.
"See you kids later!" Gail said cheerfully. "Be careful!" Jezebel ran out ahead of us, Aspen walked in front of the stroller, and I stayed behind Scout, who was pushing the stroller.
"C'mon, guys! Hurry up! I wanna get to the park!" Jezebel shouted as she skipped.
"Jezebel! Stay with us!" Scout told her. Jezebel reluctantly came back with us. Soon we came to a small park, and Jezebel and Aspen ran off to play on it immediately.
"Scout! Come chase me!" Jezebel giggled.
"Do you mind watching Bride?" she asked me. I shook my head. "Thanks," she smiled. She ran off, running very slow so that Jezebel wouldn't get caught. They all laughed, Aspen running very far ahead of the both of them. I sat down on a bench, and rocked Bride's stroller back and forth. She laughed and screamed whenever one of the others ran by. I decided I wanted to hold her, but I was scared. I'd never held a baby; what if I hurt her? I carefully picked Bride up, then quickly sat her on my lap before I could drop her or anything. She played with my hair, pulling on it and throwing it up and watching it fall down. It didn't hurt, and it sure seemed to amuse her. I smiled at her.
"I'm gonna take a break," Aspen panted. She walked over and sat down next to me. It felt kind of awkward, so I just ignored her for a while. She looked at me. "Hi," she said.
"Hi," I said, not looking at her.
"You're pretty," she said. I looked at her. She looked at me with big brown eyes.
"Thanks," I said. "You are too." She smiled. She really was a pretty little girl.
"How old are you?" she asked.
"Fifteen. You?"
"Nine. You're the same age as Scout, y'know," she said matter-of-factly.
"That's cool," I said. She nodded and then ran off. That was weird... We stayed at the park for about an hour, when I heard some voices that belonged to no one I knew.
"Scout!" The deep voice said. I jumped and turned to see who it was. It was a dark skinned guy, who wore glasses and jean shorts and a green t-shirt.
"Hey Trace!" Scout called. He laughed. He looked down at me, and seemed confused; probably thinking why is this stranger holding Scout's foster sister? "Oh, this is Harley. She's new." Trace nodded his head as if that all made sense. He held out his hand.
"Hey, Harley. I'm Trace. Nice to meet you," he said politely. Cautiously I shook his hand. He smiled at me, then frowned a little.
"She's not much for talking yet... She just got here yesterday." Trace nodded again.
"Well, I just wanted to say hi. See ya at school next week. Bye, Harley." Trace waved and then jogged off.
"You don't have school this week?" I asked quietly. Scout shook her head.
"It's spring break. We have a week off." I breathed a sigh of relief. "It'll be fun when we go back. I can introduce you to all my friends!" she smiled. I bit my lip. Something told me Scout and her friends weren't exactly people I'd get along with.
"Um... Sure..." I said. We stayed at the park for a little bit longer, then we went back to the house. Gail still wasn't back, not that I minded. Scout went to play "house" with Jezebel, bringing Bride along with her. I went to my room, and laid down on my bed, putting my arms over my eyes and sighed. There was a tap on my wrist, and I was startled back into reality. Aspen stood over me, nervousness all over her face.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked. I sat up and shrugged.
"I guess..." I said, not so certain. Aspen sat on Scout's bed, crossing her legs and looking at me deeply.
"What happened to you?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, why are you here?" she asked. The tone in her voice, maturity and... wisdom I guess, made it hard to believe she was only nine. She spoke with confidence in her words, even though she seemed very shy and timid.
"I was taken away from my brothers," I answered. "They thought they hurt me, so they brought me here." Aspen pouted.
"Did they?" she wondered. I shook my head immediately.
"No. They were wonderful. Well, Nikolai was most of the time..."
"How many brothers did you have?"
"Three. Nikolai, Reed, and Carmine. They're all older than me."
"Oh. I used to live with my brother too. His name was Clay... What about your parents?" she asked. I'd hoped this question wouldn't come.
"My dad left before I was born... My mom killed herself..." I said softly.
"Oh... Sorry... That's why you lived with your brothers?" I nodded. "Oh." I furrowed my eyebrows. I couldn't help but wonder.
"Why'd you live with Clay?" I asked. She looked at me surprised, like she thought she'd be the only one asking the questions.
"My mom died when she had me. My dad didn't want me, and he was going to hurt me, so Clay took me and ran away. He was thirteen, and I was three." Damn. This kid's gone through a lot at such a young age.
"When did you come here?"
"When I was five. Clay left me here. He said he didn't know what to do, and said he was sorry. I don't know what he was sorry for though..."
"Where'd you live before?" I asked astonished. She shrugged.
"Everywhere. Anywhere. We never stayed in one place for too long." I nodded. "Do you think we'll ever get adopted?" she asked.
"Not me. I'm going to find a way to get out of here. I'm going back to my brothers. I'm not going to get adopted by some family."
"I want to stay here. Forever and ever. But what if Scout, Jezebel, Bride, or you get adopted? I don't want to lose my sisters." She thought of me as her sister? Already?
"Oh... Uh..." What was I supposed to say?! She looked like she was on the edge of tears for crying out loud! But I couldn't say Oh, don't worry. No one'll adopt you... "Everything'll be fine. Everything happens for a reason---" I stopped; realizing that I sounded like a hypocrite saying I would not let myself get adopted.
"I guess..." Aspen sighed. She stood up. "Thanks," she smiled. She closed the space between us and hugged me. I was shocked at first, but then returned the hug.
"Who wants ice cream?" Gail shouted. I heard the sound of grocery bags, and Jezebel scream.
"Yay!" she cried. Aspen smiled.
"Come on!" she said, taking my hand and guided me to the kitchen. Gail smiled and winked at me with an expression on her face that said See? It's not so bad here. I rolled my eyes at her and looked away.
I needed more, more! I threw the book across the dimly lit, wooden attic. The book hit a stack of old newspapers. I tore open yet another book. Nothing would give me my answers.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” said Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” said Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Hey, so this is a poem Ive been thinking of for a long time,please read and comment!
The Spirit
The spirit rushes on,
Swifter than the wind,
To find answers,
To seek the way.
The spirit flows on,
Like the river.
Flowing on to find the ocean,
A home for all its dreams.
The spirit shines on,
Brighter than a thousand suns.
Shining on to clear the darkness,
To find the path.
The spirit lives on,
More eternal than the sea,
Living on to find its home,
Where all the ends shall meet.
The Spirit
The spirit rushes on,
Swifter than the wind,
To find answers,
To seek the way.
The spirit flows on,
Like the river.
Flowing on to find the ocean,
A home for all its dreams.
The spirit shines on,
Brighter than a thousand suns.
Shining on to clear the darkness,
To find the path.
The spirit lives on,
More eternal than the sea,
Living on to find its home,
Where all the ends shall meet.
Memories,
Confusion,
So many thoughts,
The end is near,
The darkness coming,
Now its here,
The show is over,
The lights are off,
We now say goodnight,
Goodbye,
As we begin 2 open the new chapter
It hurts at first,
Will the changes be extreme?
Please, just tell me,
This was only a dream,
I want to go back,
To relive this again,
This high point in life,
It can't end.
The stage lights dimmed,
The leaving spoke,
With happy faces on,
But tears in their eyes,
This show is over,
Now go home.
Confusion,
So many thoughts,
The end is near,
The darkness coming,
Now its here,
The show is over,
The lights are off,
We now say goodnight,
Goodbye,
As we begin 2 open the new chapter
It hurts at first,
Will the changes be extreme?
Please, just tell me,
This was only a dream,
I want to go back,
To relive this again,
This high point in life,
It can't end.
The stage lights dimmed,
The leaving spoke,
With happy faces on,
But tears in their eyes,
This show is over,
Now go home.