Chapter Five
Rolling over in her new, costly pottery barn teen bed sheets, Samantha was woken by an alarm blaring. Shit, Monday, she thought. The first day of her crazy new arts school, starting in 2nd semester. At the interview, after some random questions, they asked her to sketch something. Then, the two heads of the school, looked at each, mumbled incoherently to each other, and started talking about “getting her settled at Evergreen”. She should be excited that she was “talented”, but Samantha knew she wasn’t.It was all very shady. A plot was beggining to bloom in Samantha’s head that Savannah had bribed the principals ahead of time. But, did she even care enough? Samantha didn’t think so.
After deciding she should get up before Savannah started yelling, Samantha immediately went to the scale. 109. The number buzzed through her head, rickeshaying off whatever brain matter was even left up there, bouncing off cloudy childhood memories, shrouded in drugs and alcohol abuse. 109. 109. 109. 109.109. 109. 109. That was 10 pounds, 10 pounds. First day of school, and she had to show up, looking fatter than ever. Suddenly, her boobs, hips, ass, stomach, everything was large, blubbery, and womanly. Like with drugs, she felt the sensation of bugs crawling under her skin mixed also with the feeling of having spent all day lying in a dump on a blazing hot August day. Dirty. Vile. Unworthy. Unworthy of what? she wondered. Savannah. Going to a hoity toity arts school. Not dying in that fire. Like you were supposed to. You cheated death. Fate. Now it’s going to destroy you from the inside out, the voice told her. She surpressed it, and ignored it for just one more day.
The mirror beckoned her to come near it, reaching out it’s twisted, greedy arms, and pulling her in. Seducing her, to come closer. Look into it, and see Every. Little. Flaw. See what the time at Savannah’s had done to her, what with the decent food and not having to work and live off the streets. That’s who she was, a street punk, not a sophisticated city girl. Daring to peer into it, Samantha saw a foreign creature. Who was not her. Someone better dressed, and better fed with ok hair that had actually been washed. But something else, too. A flicker of change in her eyes that reflected the way she’d been forgetting her past lately. The way she could out-smoke, out-drink, and, yes, out-snort (cocaine that is), than anyone. Even the thugs. From now on, she’d have to remind herself who she really was. Not some poor, pampered little girl who was rescued by big sister, but a fierce, ever thin, up-to-no-good and independent beeyotch who could sell drugs and suck cum with the best of em.
With a passionate and cutthroat gleam in her eye, Samantha snapped the buckles on her jet black leather jack, pulled on a sassy red and black plaid skirt, embroidered with skulls and set out to show these “Evergreen Prep” students who wore the pants around here. Even with a gain of 10 pounds dragging her down, she could still easily fight the daisys who went to her new school.
Rolling over in her new, costly pottery barn teen bed sheets, Samantha was woken by an alarm blaring. Shit, Monday, she thought. The first day of her crazy new arts school, starting in 2nd semester. At the interview, after some random questions, they asked her to sketch something. Then, the two heads of the school, looked at each, mumbled incoherently to each other, and started talking about “getting her settled at Evergreen”. She should be excited that she was “talented”, but Samantha knew she wasn’t.It was all very shady. A plot was beggining to bloom in Samantha’s head that Savannah had bribed the principals ahead of time. But, did she even care enough? Samantha didn’t think so.
After deciding she should get up before Savannah started yelling, Samantha immediately went to the scale. 109. The number buzzed through her head, rickeshaying off whatever brain matter was even left up there, bouncing off cloudy childhood memories, shrouded in drugs and alcohol abuse. 109. 109. 109. 109.109. 109. 109. That was 10 pounds, 10 pounds. First day of school, and she had to show up, looking fatter than ever. Suddenly, her boobs, hips, ass, stomach, everything was large, blubbery, and womanly. Like with drugs, she felt the sensation of bugs crawling under her skin mixed also with the feeling of having spent all day lying in a dump on a blazing hot August day. Dirty. Vile. Unworthy. Unworthy of what? she wondered. Savannah. Going to a hoity toity arts school. Not dying in that fire. Like you were supposed to. You cheated death. Fate. Now it’s going to destroy you from the inside out, the voice told her. She surpressed it, and ignored it for just one more day.
The mirror beckoned her to come near it, reaching out it’s twisted, greedy arms, and pulling her in. Seducing her, to come closer. Look into it, and see Every. Little. Flaw. See what the time at Savannah’s had done to her, what with the decent food and not having to work and live off the streets. That’s who she was, a street punk, not a sophisticated city girl. Daring to peer into it, Samantha saw a foreign creature. Who was not her. Someone better dressed, and better fed with ok hair that had actually been washed. But something else, too. A flicker of change in her eyes that reflected the way she’d been forgetting her past lately. The way she could out-smoke, out-drink, and, yes, out-snort (cocaine that is), than anyone. Even the thugs. From now on, she’d have to remind herself who she really was. Not some poor, pampered little girl who was rescued by big sister, but a fierce, ever thin, up-to-no-good and independent beeyotch who could sell drugs and suck cum with the best of em.
With a passionate and cutthroat gleam in her eye, Samantha snapped the buckles on her jet black leather jack, pulled on a sassy red and black plaid skirt, embroidered with skulls and set out to show these “Evergreen Prep” students who wore the pants around here. Even with a gain of 10 pounds dragging her down, she could still easily fight the daisys who went to her new school.
All i know is that i am falling.
I try desperately to save myself, but it's just so dark and dreary...i'm not even completely aware of my body anymore. I just continue spiralling down into this dark oblivion..
Suddenly, there isa small glowing light only about four feet below me. I reach out. I cannot grasp it, though. If i wait long enough, though,i'll tumble right into it.
Only, i dont. Because, right when i am about to make contact i slip away. My eyes open and the only light is the one streaming through my window...
I try desperately to save myself, but it's just so dark and dreary...i'm not even completely aware of my body anymore. I just continue spiralling down into this dark oblivion..
Suddenly, there isa small glowing light only about four feet below me. I reach out. I cannot grasp it, though. If i wait long enough, though,i'll tumble right into it.
Only, i dont. Because, right when i am about to make contact i slip away. My eyes open and the only light is the one streaming through my window...
The words made my breath fall short in my throat, a small whimpering sound went up through my chest. I slowly rose my watch, exactly the time I was to be doomed. The part of the wall carrying the dread words burst open and rats started to crawl in, immediatly gnawing at my flesh, I tried to back away, but the part i had opened up suddenly closes and i was trapped in darkness, I was trapped, I was trapped with no hope off escape and a thousand beady eyes crawling all over my body, wrigglin down my chest and making their way towards my heart. I spun and rolled around as much as I could in the small space, but the rats were persistent, and my blood trickeld all around me, forming in a pool under me. After a while a finally gave up. For all I had done i was payed with my own dead, locked in a narrow passage with rats all around me, the last living things i would ever interact with. I began to sob softly and my final breath flew from my body, I was a limp, lifeless corpse.....