I looked up every few minutes, desperate to see you standing there once more. My heart beat shrilly in my chest and my breath fluttered every time I thought of you, your cold hands grasping mine, the wonderful smell of your skin intoxicating me. I cursed, thinking of Amy and how she could be with Evan, could call him on the phone, hold his hand in public, and the simple problems she had with trying to date a normal guy. You are so much beyond normal that it frustrates all my attempts to capture you in poetry. Surrounded by scraps of paper on which I've written your name over and over, filled with a need to get out, but not wanting to miss you, I pace. Music has no delight for me without you. It all seems so banal and pointless unless you're near. Hours go by this way; I should be doing my homework or my chores, I should be doing something, anything else, but I find that everywhere I look, all I see is your face, gazing lovingly at me, and I melt. Eventually I have to get out of the house; I'm stifling and my parents asking me about my day are unbearable. I slide open the bedroom window and slip out onto the roof, then slide down to the edge. From there its an easy jump to the top of the shed and I can drop to the ground by holding the edge and swinging my legs down so the drop isn't too bad. Halfway down the drive, I finally notice that you are there, quiet, solid, firm and beautiful. I smile, wondering how I could ever be so lucky, to have someone so wonderful interested in me. What is it that attracts you?
***********
Kelvin was close to a century old now, the last forty years had been spent in relative seclusion in the mountains, trying to avoid unnecessary entanglements. He'd come to stay in Spooner eight years before. He remembered Astrid, an athletic blonde in 1950s Wisconsin, nestled in his arms, expressing wonder at all the things he could do in an unending lifetime. "All the things you could learn, all the places you could go!" He'd smiled then. At that point he'd only just begun to feel bored by everything. Since then it had only worsened, to the point that he'd willingly signed up to attend the local high school two years ago. High school! Has it really come to this, he thought?
But his long weeks spent just sitting in his house, watching dust gather on the furniture as the shadows repeatedly moved across the room, all told him it was so. Attending school let him pretend at normalcy, let him imagine, if just for a few short hours, that he hadn't lived an unchanging, homogenous existence for the past ninety years, that he was young and passionate again, with a whole brief life to look forward to. A life short enough that each year had meaning.
Of course, he attracted another girl. There was always a girl. Or sometimes a boy. To him it didn't matter. It didn't matter that they were shy, or plain, or awkward. What mattered is that they sparkled with life, a vibrant pulsing life that he lusted to possess and which he could never have. He could barely even remember it after all these endless unchanging years. Being with her gave him the gift of memory, of thinking that he could be, had been young once, that he'd once cared about things, felt emotions so keenly as they did.
It was easy to behave as Sara wanted him to, if it meant that he could be close to her, experience that vibrancy for a short time before she, too, started to age and lose her passion. At that point, he would move on once more, unable to bear the thought of subjecting her to his ageless existence. It was a hell he would wish on no one, though she wouldn't understand that when the time came. And it would come all too soon. For now, though, they had each other, and he could feast his envy on her youth and beauty. For now, her feelings were so strong that they bled over into him, filling him, energizing him from the ennui of ceaseless life. For now, he could pretend that those feelings were shared. For now, they had love.
***********
Kelvin was close to a century old now, the last forty years had been spent in relative seclusion in the mountains, trying to avoid unnecessary entanglements. He'd come to stay in Spooner eight years before. He remembered Astrid, an athletic blonde in 1950s Wisconsin, nestled in his arms, expressing wonder at all the things he could do in an unending lifetime. "All the things you could learn, all the places you could go!" He'd smiled then. At that point he'd only just begun to feel bored by everything. Since then it had only worsened, to the point that he'd willingly signed up to attend the local high school two years ago. High school! Has it really come to this, he thought?
But his long weeks spent just sitting in his house, watching dust gather on the furniture as the shadows repeatedly moved across the room, all told him it was so. Attending school let him pretend at normalcy, let him imagine, if just for a few short hours, that he hadn't lived an unchanging, homogenous existence for the past ninety years, that he was young and passionate again, with a whole brief life to look forward to. A life short enough that each year had meaning.
Of course, he attracted another girl. There was always a girl. Or sometimes a boy. To him it didn't matter. It didn't matter that they were shy, or plain, or awkward. What mattered is that they sparkled with life, a vibrant pulsing life that he lusted to possess and which he could never have. He could barely even remember it after all these endless unchanging years. Being with her gave him the gift of memory, of thinking that he could be, had been young once, that he'd once cared about things, felt emotions so keenly as they did.
It was easy to behave as Sara wanted him to, if it meant that he could be close to her, experience that vibrancy for a short time before she, too, started to age and lose her passion. At that point, he would move on once more, unable to bear the thought of subjecting her to his ageless existence. It was a hell he would wish on no one, though she wouldn't understand that when the time came. And it would come all too soon. For now, though, they had each other, and he could feast his envy on her youth and beauty. For now, her feelings were so strong that they bled over into him, filling him, energizing him from the ennui of ceaseless life. For now, he could pretend that those feelings were shared. For now, they had love.
Time is just a thing.
You can't ever have to little.
You can always have enough.
But when you look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
You see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
You can't ever have to little.
You can always have enough.
But when you look at it,
our lives are just a piece.
A piece of what time has to give.
So why not live the fullest,
to what we can.
Why waste it wishing,
on something you'll never have.
Let time do its own thing,
so we can do ours.
You see time is mysterious.
It controls our lives.
And in one quick second,
our time may be up.
So take what you're given,
and give nothing back.
With time nothing is ever what it seems.
I'm just drifting, drifting down this road.
The dust kicking up behind me,
Just a cloud to hide my past.
My feet don't leave any footprints,
My name never graces those lips
That I'm watching from a distance,
A distance that grows greater
As I'm drifting, drifting down this road.
I'm not on the way to anything great,
I'm just hiding, hiding down in the dark.
The shadows closing in around me,
Just a blanket to smother my past.
My eyes can't see in the gloom,
My voice never breaks the silence
That I keep deep in my heart,
A heart that grows blacker
As I'm drifting, drifting in the dark.