have you ever felt like you were trapped in the middle of something and you felt like there was no way out? i have and to tell you my story i have to start from the begining.
chapter one
first sight
i was 16 when i moved to america, it was different not like england it was warmer first and it felt weird i was use to covering up, but would that make me stand out? i looked around from where i was sitting, girls walking round in shorts and vest tops, guys the same yep i was deffenetly going to stand out if i wore my jumper skinnies and ugg boots. then a really depressing thought hit me.
tomorrow i would start school, great.
i was sat on the wall at this time, outside my new home it was about seven that night but i wasn't tired. i thought about what tomorrow would be like i was going to be the new girl the outsider i missed my old friends i wish they were here they would tell me it was okay that i could do this/ there was no way in hell i could so this.
i had to find my way around the school, meet new people what was i meant to do?
i took another look around taking in there looks this time, geez how many blond people are there? they were all blond, blue eyes, tanned. where me i was black haired green eyes, and well i wasn't pale but i wasn't over the top tanned like some kids here.
they were all reading glosssy magazines on the grass while me i was sat on the wall reading ` the house of night` - i took a liking to the book when my mum brought one for free when she got me the twilights- yep i am a fan of the vampire mysterious stories - i felt out of place.
it was still light outside, and really warm, i missed home, i missed england and never thought i would be saying this but i missed the rain. wow i must really be depressed.
"you need to go to bed soon" i loved my mum but when she calls attention to me its like urgh! just kill me now.
everyone was staring it was weird, like gawking, sure at my old school i wasn't the most popular kid but i wasn't hated. they only stopped for a moment which made me wish i could read there mind at there first inpression, acturally maybe not.
with a sigh i jumped of the wall and walked slowly into the house making a plan in my head, that no matter how bad it got i would suffer in silence, but i would do my time, accturaly i was exsited about tomorrow now, i turned around taking one last look at my new home. who was i kidding i was drreading what the next day was going to bring.
i couldn't ssleep that night heat was taking over and i was nervous.
i woke with a weird feeling, i hated early mornings but when i had to go a half hour earlier it was worse. i was sat infront of the mirrow, okay here goes.
my hair was a weck i mean one of them that was standing up on end, so that deffenetly means straigtened. that took me longer then i thought but as soon as i got it straightened and styled i looked at the clock 7:30 crap! i had half hour and the way my face looked far to blochy i covered it with foundation a little blusher - something told me i wouldn't need it but stil - and eye liner i could do my mascara when i got into the school lot. i rushed and grabbed the first clothes i could find, vest top and shorts and then shoes ahh carp i didn't look at the shoes so i had no idea, so i grabbed the first pair at the top of my bag. heals? oh well.
i ran down the stiars greatfull to see mum had left atleast a drink of milk and some money out i downed the drink and ran out the house just catching the
"good luck" of my dad.
it was times like this i was glad i was 16 and was able to drive. and also that my parents had thought to send my car here i loved it it was a little hot pink mini convertable. so still running i jumped in and put my foot down. it was easy to find the school well without the simple turn left go straight at the lights directions from my dad i could find it, it looked like a school and had convine high in capital letters on the side of the wall. and a hug sign saying office that told me that is were i needed to go.
i pulled into the nearest space and climbed out, the car park was only a little full so people were here, great.
flipping my hair back i started walkin.
the women in the office was like the others she was blonde and she was young and really really pretty.
"hello how can i help you?" she seemed really nice.
"hey erm im ellie black, i-" she cut me of
"oh yes i have you paper work right here and you new scedural you will be in music first leason with mr johns"
"thank you" i told her as she handed me the papers
"have a nice day now" we both smiled as i took a deep breath and stepped out into the unkown.
it was packed now and i was looking at the map when i first bumped into him/
"oh im really sorry i wasn't looking were i was going" i told him as i collected all my things together
"no no it was me i was destracted" he held out his hand and i took it without looking at him, as my cheeks blushed
" thanks erm sorry i have to go sorry again" before he could say something i hurried on, great cluts on the first day.
i was lucky that music was only around the corner and was realy lucky that i was one of the first people there so it didn't draw attention to me.
i walked straight to the bold headed guy that looked a litttle to gay.
"hi im ellie black" i told him
"oh nice to meet you well welcome to america and to convine high"
"thank you, erm where should i sit?"
"anywhere " i took a seat in the middle as everyone else started to fill in, not noticing me. thank god.
"right class today we will be singing in pairs" what!? was he realy doing this? i started to lose my breath, things couldn't get worse or so i thought, " and we have a new student so does anyone wel should i say any boy like to volinteer to work with her?" i sunk down in my seat oh god oh god oh god!
"ill do it" i recognised that voice he was the guy i have knocked over/
"great jake, ellie you and him can go to the other room and practise" i nodded and kept my head down as i got up and follwed the long black haired guy into the other room.
"so you ever sung before" he asked without turning.
"er yeah i was in the qior in my old school but i was at the back"
he turned at the sound of my voice "oh its you, you walked before i could say sorry again"
"oh yeah er i guess i needed to get here" i was still enbarassed.
he smiled and i looked at him deeper, he had long black hair really deep brown eyes that ooked chcocolate brown, to be honest he was gorgous!
"so what song are we singing?" i asked with a sudden burst of confidence.
he smiled again and walked over to the stack of papers "any of these i don't mind" he handed them and i flicked through them.
there were great music all couple songs, love the way you lie, this is me and others but one caught me eye,
"this is my favorite song" i realised i said it out loud when he took the paper out of my hand
"two is better then one? boys like girls?" he had a brillient smile on his face which confused the way he asked the queastion.
"yeah feat taylor swift how come? you don't like it?"
"no its acturally my favorite song as well" he looked up and into my eyes and my breathe caught.
he had an amazing voice when he started
`i remember what you wore on that first day
you came into my life and i thought hey like this could be something
everything you do and words you say`
i was still listerning until it came to my part, i hated singing out loud
`i remember every look upon you face`
`the way you rolled your eyes the way you taste you make it hard for breathing`
`and when i closed my eyes and dirft away i think of you and everythings okay im finaly now believing`
when we sung together it was wierd sparks flied and i wasn't scared.
`and im thinking two is better then one` and the song ended just before the bell went.
"wow"
"i know" i didn't know i spoke that out load until he answered me "so what leason do you have next?"
i had to check that even more enbarassing.
"er, gymnastic"
he nodded and looked like he was about to say soemthing when 3 other guys burst into the room ignoring me and walking straight up to jake
"dude! i heard you were singing with the new girl!" one said
"yeah but we also heard that she is english!" the other added
"and HOT! i mean really fiiiiiiine" jake laughed and i blushed
"guys this is ell" he swept his hand towards me as the threee of them turned around
"hey" i waved after all 3 morthes fell open.
when it didn't look like they were going to say anything jake laughed again
"ell this is danny, tom and liam guys this is ell the hot british girl you were talking about"
i waved a little feeling awkward.
we walked down the corridoor together laughing all four of us, everyone stopped and stared.
"why does everyone look?" i said out loud and really wished i hadn't
"cause your like prob the hottest new girl we have ever had" danny said draping his arm around my shoulders.
i laughed and said no more.
sorry about the spelling never could spell, please comment :) hope you like it
chapter one
first sight
i was 16 when i moved to america, it was different not like england it was warmer first and it felt weird i was use to covering up, but would that make me stand out? i looked around from where i was sitting, girls walking round in shorts and vest tops, guys the same yep i was deffenetly going to stand out if i wore my jumper skinnies and ugg boots. then a really depressing thought hit me.
tomorrow i would start school, great.
i was sat on the wall at this time, outside my new home it was about seven that night but i wasn't tired. i thought about what tomorrow would be like i was going to be the new girl the outsider i missed my old friends i wish they were here they would tell me it was okay that i could do this/ there was no way in hell i could so this.
i had to find my way around the school, meet new people what was i meant to do?
i took another look around taking in there looks this time, geez how many blond people are there? they were all blond, blue eyes, tanned. where me i was black haired green eyes, and well i wasn't pale but i wasn't over the top tanned like some kids here.
they were all reading glosssy magazines on the grass while me i was sat on the wall reading ` the house of night` - i took a liking to the book when my mum brought one for free when she got me the twilights- yep i am a fan of the vampire mysterious stories - i felt out of place.
it was still light outside, and really warm, i missed home, i missed england and never thought i would be saying this but i missed the rain. wow i must really be depressed.
"you need to go to bed soon" i loved my mum but when she calls attention to me its like urgh! just kill me now.
everyone was staring it was weird, like gawking, sure at my old school i wasn't the most popular kid but i wasn't hated. they only stopped for a moment which made me wish i could read there mind at there first inpression, acturally maybe not.
with a sigh i jumped of the wall and walked slowly into the house making a plan in my head, that no matter how bad it got i would suffer in silence, but i would do my time, accturaly i was exsited about tomorrow now, i turned around taking one last look at my new home. who was i kidding i was drreading what the next day was going to bring.
i couldn't ssleep that night heat was taking over and i was nervous.
i woke with a weird feeling, i hated early mornings but when i had to go a half hour earlier it was worse. i was sat infront of the mirrow, okay here goes.
my hair was a weck i mean one of them that was standing up on end, so that deffenetly means straigtened. that took me longer then i thought but as soon as i got it straightened and styled i looked at the clock 7:30 crap! i had half hour and the way my face looked far to blochy i covered it with foundation a little blusher - something told me i wouldn't need it but stil - and eye liner i could do my mascara when i got into the school lot. i rushed and grabbed the first clothes i could find, vest top and shorts and then shoes ahh carp i didn't look at the shoes so i had no idea, so i grabbed the first pair at the top of my bag. heals? oh well.
i ran down the stiars greatfull to see mum had left atleast a drink of milk and some money out i downed the drink and ran out the house just catching the
"good luck" of my dad.
it was times like this i was glad i was 16 and was able to drive. and also that my parents had thought to send my car here i loved it it was a little hot pink mini convertable. so still running i jumped in and put my foot down. it was easy to find the school well without the simple turn left go straight at the lights directions from my dad i could find it, it looked like a school and had convine high in capital letters on the side of the wall. and a hug sign saying office that told me that is were i needed to go.
i pulled into the nearest space and climbed out, the car park was only a little full so people were here, great.
flipping my hair back i started walkin.
the women in the office was like the others she was blonde and she was young and really really pretty.
"hello how can i help you?" she seemed really nice.
"hey erm im ellie black, i-" she cut me of
"oh yes i have you paper work right here and you new scedural you will be in music first leason with mr johns"
"thank you" i told her as she handed me the papers
"have a nice day now" we both smiled as i took a deep breath and stepped out into the unkown.
it was packed now and i was looking at the map when i first bumped into him/
"oh im really sorry i wasn't looking were i was going" i told him as i collected all my things together
"no no it was me i was destracted" he held out his hand and i took it without looking at him, as my cheeks blushed
" thanks erm sorry i have to go sorry again" before he could say something i hurried on, great cluts on the first day.
i was lucky that music was only around the corner and was realy lucky that i was one of the first people there so it didn't draw attention to me.
i walked straight to the bold headed guy that looked a litttle to gay.
"hi im ellie black" i told him
"oh nice to meet you well welcome to america and to convine high"
"thank you, erm where should i sit?"
"anywhere " i took a seat in the middle as everyone else started to fill in, not noticing me. thank god.
"right class today we will be singing in pairs" what!? was he realy doing this? i started to lose my breath, things couldn't get worse or so i thought, " and we have a new student so does anyone wel should i say any boy like to volinteer to work with her?" i sunk down in my seat oh god oh god oh god!
"ill do it" i recognised that voice he was the guy i have knocked over/
"great jake, ellie you and him can go to the other room and practise" i nodded and kept my head down as i got up and follwed the long black haired guy into the other room.
"so you ever sung before" he asked without turning.
"er yeah i was in the qior in my old school but i was at the back"
he turned at the sound of my voice "oh its you, you walked before i could say sorry again"
"oh yeah er i guess i needed to get here" i was still enbarassed.
he smiled and i looked at him deeper, he had long black hair really deep brown eyes that ooked chcocolate brown, to be honest he was gorgous!
"so what song are we singing?" i asked with a sudden burst of confidence.
he smiled again and walked over to the stack of papers "any of these i don't mind" he handed them and i flicked through them.
there were great music all couple songs, love the way you lie, this is me and others but one caught me eye,
"this is my favorite song" i realised i said it out loud when he took the paper out of my hand
"two is better then one? boys like girls?" he had a brillient smile on his face which confused the way he asked the queastion.
"yeah feat taylor swift how come? you don't like it?"
"no its acturally my favorite song as well" he looked up and into my eyes and my breathe caught.
he had an amazing voice when he started
`i remember what you wore on that first day
you came into my life and i thought hey like this could be something
everything you do and words you say`
i was still listerning until it came to my part, i hated singing out loud
`i remember every look upon you face`
`the way you rolled your eyes the way you taste you make it hard for breathing`
`and when i closed my eyes and dirft away i think of you and everythings okay im finaly now believing`
when we sung together it was wierd sparks flied and i wasn't scared.
`and im thinking two is better then one` and the song ended just before the bell went.
"wow"
"i know" i didn't know i spoke that out load until he answered me "so what leason do you have next?"
i had to check that even more enbarassing.
"er, gymnastic"
he nodded and looked like he was about to say soemthing when 3 other guys burst into the room ignoring me and walking straight up to jake
"dude! i heard you were singing with the new girl!" one said
"yeah but we also heard that she is english!" the other added
"and HOT! i mean really fiiiiiiine" jake laughed and i blushed
"guys this is ell" he swept his hand towards me as the threee of them turned around
"hey" i waved after all 3 morthes fell open.
when it didn't look like they were going to say anything jake laughed again
"ell this is danny, tom and liam guys this is ell the hot british girl you were talking about"
i waved a little feeling awkward.
we walked down the corridoor together laughing all four of us, everyone stopped and stared.
"why does everyone look?" i said out loud and really wished i hadn't
"cause your like prob the hottest new girl we have ever had" danny said draping his arm around my shoulders.
i laughed and said no more.
sorry about the spelling never could spell, please comment :) hope you like it
hear my
unspeakable words,
those are screaming
inside my lost strife!
See me,
see it through my
frightened eyes,
those will show you,
those will defeat
the peace itself.
That peace,
well-known to you,
but not to me.
Not to me.
I've seen it only
in their eyes,
while mine were dreaming.
Grabbing my soul,
living inside,
the fear loves me more,
smiling to my faith.
Hear me,
hear those
unspeakable words,
those are living here,
praying silently,
crying sternly.
Hope is awaken,
but weakened.
Hating fear
and its cruelty,
it struggles tirelessly,
though fading...
Fading
along with
unseen dreams,
sleeping
along with sorrow.
The doors
are locked,
Sun is not
illuminating
my path,
not mine.
Fears sleep
in there,
loving my failures,
listening to my
unspeakable words,
those are prayers,
unseen dreams,
fear lives within.
Temporary Home
For some people, this world is only a stopover. They arrive here to do some good while they can, but they know that this is still not their true home. They are angels who come to light up our lives with their luminescence and to teach us what they can before they have to move on. They flash in on golden wings, but it seems that they are gone before you can say “Thank you” or “I love you”. They leave softly, without fanfare. They kiss our brow as lightly as a heart’s whisper, and smile, blinding us with its brightness. When we blink, they are gone.
For some people, this world is only a stopover. They arrive here to do some good while they can, but they know that this is still not their true home. They are angels who come to light up our lives with their luminescence and to teach us what they can before they have to move on. They flash in on golden wings, but it seems that they are gone before you can say “Thank you” or “I love you”. They leave softly, without fanfare. They kiss our brow as lightly as a heart’s whisper, and smile, blinding us with its brightness. When we blink, they are gone.