Danny: Uhm..Mac..Have you ever put a jelly in a glass of water and left it over night ?
Mac : Sure, the jelly absorbs all the water and swells up, why ?
Danny: I... might've pushed Lindsay in a bucket with water and left her over night..
Mac : Oh my God !..

Picture Mac prancing around in front of a mirror, flexing his muscles and yelling (to no one in particular)
Mac: You' ready for the BIG-MAC, bee-yatch ?! Yeah baby! You' ready for the BIG-MAC ?!? Yeah !!..

when season 1 started

Stella: Mac, what did you write here?
Mac: What?..uhm ..well..what's that ?
Stella: It's your writing ! It's the notebook you got out from your pocket when we were investigating the crime scene.I'm kinda' having problems with some details, so this notebook may be useful..
Mac:How did you get my notebook ?
Stella: It doesn't matter, come on, focus ! This is really important !
Mac: To be honest..I can't understand my writing either..
Danny *shows up*: Hey, Stella, you got a minute ?
Stella: Sure..here Mac *gives him the notebook* I'll be back later..Please give me a hand with this..
Mac *after Danny and Stella left*: I really have to learn their names tonight ! So..Stella is the girl I just talked to..that kid was..uhm..oh there it is..Danny..

..at a complicated crime scene:

Mac: Damn this is gonna take forever..we're gonna be in the lab all day..uhm..*looks in the crowd around the crime scene* I think...That guy *points at some pore random shmuck* did it !!
Danny: I agree. Get him, Flack !
Flack *In disbelief*: Is this legal ?
Mac: Sure, trust us, we're CSIs
Flack: O..K..

hahahaa these are so funny..

here's one that would never happen:

After 20 minutes of searchin' for evidence at a crime scene:
Mac : Nope! Not a thing!
Stella: Me neither..
Mac :Wanna grab a hot dog?
Stella: Sure !

=)) good one

Mac: Hey Stella, come here for a minute, I need to talk to you.
Stella : Mac, I'm in the middle of a really big case right now.
Mac : Please, Stella..I really need to tell you this !
Stella : Mac..are you ok ? What happened ? What is it ?
Mac : Close the door..Uhm..Stella, I am your suspect. I am the suspect in your case but..don't tell anyone, just go find some punk on the street, get him to touch something and call it him !..
Stella: Mac, you can't be the suspect ! The DNA found was a female's
Mac *unzips his face, his fake suit, revealing a woman's face and dress* : I'm...a woman...

=))

Imagine Mac, Don and Danny walking drunk. Don has a flowered lampshape on his head and they all go like: "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine..."

here's another one :

*Mac is sitting in his office reading a file, when Danny runs up to his office door shouting about the evidence he just found in the case*
Danny: Mac, Mac I just found out that...(Bang !)
*Danny runs straight into the see-through glass door. He falls on the floor. Mac looks up and just smiles evily*
*Don walks past Danny*
Don: What happened to Da..(Bang !)
Mac: And that's why I keep my office doors so wonderfully clean!!...

hahahaa

lol! these are all hilarious! XD

*Mac comes into work drunk*
Stella: Mac are you drunk?
Mac: You're soooo pretty
Stella: OK...what do you want?
Mac: *hiccup*
*Danny walks in*
Danny: Woooah!! I did not need to see that!
*walks back out*
Stella: Mac! Get off me! Mac? Are you still alive?

awesome ! =))

One day at the NY crime lab there is a simultaneous scream of ' NOOO !'.
Mac: What's wrong with everyone ? My DNA test came back negative!..
Stella: The GCMS is broken and I can't finish my work !
Don: A suspect got away !..
Danny: The vending machine's out of chocolate!
*everyone stares at Danny*
Danny: What ?!? A man needs his chocolate!

I can't stop laughing!..I love the Mac part with *hiccup*
XD

Stella: Mac? Why is your hair pink ?
Mac: I had a bit too much 2 drink last night..Anyway, you think I'm bad ? Wait till you see Lindsay !
*Lindsay walks in with no hair at all*
Lindsay*in reaction to Stella's look of disgust*: Well I thought it was a good idea at the time !...

(not as good as yours but..)

hahahaha! XD

*Mac and Stella are in his office*
Stella: You did WHAT!?
Mac: I'm resigning!
*Danny, Lindsay and Hawkes here and walk into his office and scream*
Lindsay: Why?
Danny and Hawkes: Yeahh, um, why?
*Mac looks at Danny and Hawkes*
Mac: You two should know, you guys resigned too remember?
*Lindsay looks at them*
Lindsay: OK, what's going on here?
Mac: I'm going to be a stripper. The old marines uniform still fits you know?
Stella: You're kidding me?
Mac: No, really, it does still fit!

:))..pore Mac..he's had enough of crimes..

*Mac enters the autopsy lab, looking for Sid to talk to him about the newest victim. Hears some strange voices, so he walks slowly towards the autopsy table*
*he sees Sid from behind, holding the victim and talking to it*
Mac: Sid, are you OK ?
Sid: And now, Mr. Ricky will show us how to dance merengue! *starts dancing with the victim*
Mac *louder*: Sid !!
Sid *hears him and turns around scared*: Oh, Mac..I was just..uhm..gettig to know the vic better..besides, he's a good merengue partner..

hahaha !!

ahahahahaa great ones !!

hahaha! XD

thank you, thank you ! :P

omg i laughed my ass off XDDD you guys are awesome xD that made my day

I will try one too...

at a crime scene...

Stella: Uhh...gross...
-the dead body was cut open and the intestines can be seen-
Mac: Don't touch anything. *takes photos* *turns around for a moment*
Stella: *touches intestines*
Mac: *turns around* Stella!! ><
Stella: Sorry. Oo
Mac: *turns around again to talk to a suspect*
Stella: *starts taking the gut out*
Sid:*comes and sees Stella* Nooo, this is my job! Go awayyyy!
Stella: Oh come on...I saw him first.
Sid: He is mine! Mac!! Tell her to keep her hands off this dead body!
Mac: *sighs*

LOL!! That was hilarious! XDDD

Oohhh I had one but I've forgotten it....*thinks*...OH!

Some random CSIs are getting married and Mac has to make a speech....
*Mac raises his glass, already a bit tipsy, slurring*
Mac: And I think everyone should raise their glasses to the happy couple, who I think are perfect for each other...*some lady is about to interrupt*...no, no....mother of the bride...or whatever....let me finish, you can make your speech later! ANYWAAAAAY, so, um, I forgot what I was going to say now thanks to that *points at lady* bitch! So, uhh, here's to the happy couple! *raises glass* WHATEVER!! *marches off triumphantly*
Random lady: Um what I was going to say was...the wedding's next door...
Mac: Then what's this party!?!
Random lady: It's my husband's funeral...*points at coffin*
*Mac looks over at the coffin*
Mac: Oh yeahh!! He was my last case! It was a hard case and I cracked it!
*shouts at the top of his voice and starts congratulating himself*

waaahahaaa XDDD just awesome
hehe i really need more of these

omg!this just cracks me up!thank u guys!

OMG, awsome both !! Txh Olivine and Chandlerfan !! I can't stop laughing !!!hahahaaaa

Mac walks down the hallway and sees Danny and Stella outsite a lab and staring at something through the glass walls.
Mac: Hey ! What happened ? Go back to work !
Stella: Shhhh! Mac, come here !
Danny: I have to go get my camera..I just have to..Stell, I'll be back in 5 !
Mac *sees Danny running away and gets closer*: Is that..Don ? *tries to knock in the glass wall but Stella stops him*
Stella: No ! Don't !..Yes ..that's Flack !..
Mac: In a lab coat ?
Stella: Yeah..and he's been there for almost 20 minutes..
Mac: Doing what?
Stella: Who knows..he's been looking at something for a loong time..even at the microscope, then he smelled it, tasted it..I don't know..
*Danny comes and takes a shot*
Mac: Stop, Danny ! *enters the lab*
Don: Oh..Mac..*hides the sample* Hi..
Mac: What..are you doing here ?
Don: Uhm..well..you know..I...have a day off and I wanted to see how it's like to..work here..
Mac: What ?!
Adam *comes in and looking down so doesn't see Mac*: So what is it ?
Mac: What is what ?
Adam *surprised* : Nothing, boss..the..nothing..
Don : Come on, Adam, what was it ? ..You got me, ok ? Here's 30 $..So ?
Adam: it was..human blood

LOL!! lmao that's hilarious! XDD

loool XDDD just awesome..i love this thread

Danny: *runs into Mac's office* Mac! Mac! Stella was hurt by a suspect!
Mac: *looks up from his files* I already waited for that. She hasn't been hurt in ages.
Danny: She had been hurt only 4 days ago!
Mac: Like I said..ages..
Flack: *runs into the room too* Mac! Mac! Lindsay got hurt by a suspect!
Mac: *jumps up* Now that is interesting. Follow Don's example, Danny.
*runs out of the room*
Flack: *looks at Danny* What were you doing here?
Danny: Stella got hurt.
Flack: Ah, again. Coffee?
Danny: Uh...okay...

hahahaha!! I loooove it! XDD


Mac: WOW! That is pretty hot!
*Stella looks at Mac like he's mental*
Mac: What? It is...
Stella: Yeahh sure I guess...but she is dead Mac.
Mac: But still...DAMN!!
Stella: Mac you're freaking me out...
Mac: Stell, do you mind if I kill you so I can see whether you're still hot when you're dead?
*Mac asks eagerly*
Stella: WHAT!?! No! Why would you....wait, you think I'm hot?
Mac: Sure thing...babe.
*Mac winks*
*Stella giggles like a schoolgirl*
Mac: Dinner. Tonight. 8pm. I'll pick you up.
*Stella nods*
*Mac walks away after another wink*
*Stella continues giggling*

I loooove Olivine's !! I love both :)))

Mac: *gets a phone call in the middle of the night*
*calls Stella and Lindsay*
We have a case.

~~ a while later ~~

Stella: I'm here.
Lindsay: Me too. *rubs sleep out of her eyes*
Mac: I couldn't reach Don.
Lindsay: What about Danny?
Mac: He said something like: Mm...Mac...you know how late it is...call me tomorrow..goodnight..
Stella: Wow
Lindsay: I have the key to his apartment. Let's go and wake him up.

~~~ 20 minutes later~~~

Lindsay: *wakes Danny up with cold water*
Danny: AAHHH..whoaa...you crazy? *sees Mac's angry look * *shuts up*
Mac: Okay Danny, let's go.
Danny: Why do people always get killed in the middle of the night.... -__-
Lindsay: Hee..what was that...
Danny: What was what?
Lindsay: Your blanket...is there something under your blanket?? It moved.
Mac & Stella: *take a closer look*
Lindsay: Is there someone hiding??? A girlfriend?
*takes blanket away* OMG
Mac&Stella: O___________o omg
Danny: great....
Don: Hey..guys...

ahahahahaha!! omg that was hilarious! XDDDDDD

ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It's Valentine's day...
Mac: Stella, a word, my office, now
*Stella walks into Mac's office*
Stella: What is it?
Mac: You know, um, considering it's Valentine's day I thought I'd tell you, um, how I uhh feel about you and...um...for starters you're very pretty Stella Bonasera...and intelligent...and a lot of other things which probably don't even matter right now and I just wanted to say that I....I....I....
*Stella excitedly waits for him to say 'I love you'*
Mac: I....I....I can't do this guys!! It's Stella! She's like one of the guys!
*Danny, Lindsay, Hawkes and Flack come out from behind the desk as they all along with Mac burst into hysterics*
Mac: Happy V day Stell!
Stella: O_______________O *mutters* Bastards!

Ohh bastards! O_o
XDDDD hilarious one, i love it!

(csi miami crossover)

Mac: Okay. Remember what we talked about before?
Danny, Stella and Lindsay: *nod*
Mac: No laughing, no staring. Then let's go.

20 minutes later...

Mac: Welcome in New york again, Horatio.
Horatio: *nods* Mac. *takes his sunglasses off*
Stella: *chuckles*
Danny: *covers his mouth with his hand*
Lindsay: *looks away conspicuously*
Horatio: 2 murdered people in Miami, 3 murdered here...i think we have a serial killer. *puts sunglasses back on*
Lindsay * bites her lip, trying not to laugh out loud*
Danny & Stella: *chuckle more*
Horatio: Is everything okay with your team?
Mac: *solemn face* Yes.
Horatio: Good..the murderer thinks he is smart...but we will get him. *takes sunglasses off again*
Stella, Danny & Lindsay: *break out in laughter*
Mac: I'm sorry for that, Horatio, but... *takes Horatio's sunglasses and breaks them* Now they will be able to concentrate.

nice :))

Chandlerfan, outstanding ideas !!

OMG !!! hahahaaa :)))

Mac: *stares at a dead body* Where have I seen this man before....hmm..mm..I have the feeling I know him... his face..I must have met him before...

Lindsay: *runs into the room* Oh my god, Danny!!!!

Mac: Danny...that name sounds familiar...

lol I'll try one , it seems funny :)

11.30
Stella:*enters Mac's office* I knew that you were still her.

Mac: *smiles*

Stella:And since I'm a friend,I decided to bring you something good to eat: a good Hamburger!

Mac:Well, ummm...Thanks Stella, but I have to say something...

Stella :Sure what is it?

Mac : I don't want it...

Stella :Why?

Mac :*looks at the floor* I'm vegeterian....

omg XDDD nooo not mac
(no big mac for mac xD)

LOL!! I think all those dead bodies put him off meat...XDD

I thought about a new one!
This forum is pure fun by the way!

Stella :Hey Mac,did you page me?

Mac :Yes I did!

Stella : Well you said it was important then tell me.I'm out of breath because I thought it was really important so I runned all the way.

Mac :Oh I'm sorry for this, but you have to look at this *points at the paper he had in his hands*

Stella :What is it...did you find someting new?

Mac :No but look at the cover!If you move it a little you can see a little bunny dancing *begnis to giggle*

Stella :*speechless* That's it.

Mac :*starts to chuckle out loud*

Stella :*goes out of the room wondering if someone drag his coffee*

(I hope I didn't make any mistake :P)

XDD love it